Is there anyway we can get a clear vision of God?
I’ve been told that if we look hard enough, we’ll see God all around us. We can see him in the beauty of nature, occurring events, the innocence of a child, and the love people have for each other. But if those are the metrics of seeing God then it’s fair to say we also see him/her/it in the ugliness of nature, the abuse of children, the hatred people have for each other, and the afflictions we suffer. Or maybe he/she/it is just not there.
What about corporate worship? People go to church to find God. Sometimes the music, words, and rituals can be quite moving. But religious gatherings can also be toxic. And sometimes they can change from therapeutic to disastrous in an instant. So going to church is no guarantee.
Others say that we experience God in our inner lives with prayer and contemplation. It’s a personal thing. If so, then my experience with God is that he is unhearing, uncaring, and unresponsive.
I have spent my life searching for God. I have studied scripture, said my prayers, played my music, pledged my faith, dedicated my service, and cared for people, all in his name. I have gambled away most of my life in hope for a glimpse of divine presence.
But I’m done now. I quit. If God exists, I don’t care. To be blunt, he’s not worth it. I’m not wasting my time on someone who can’t be bothered to even speak to me.